grace and grief

My grandfather passed away yesterday.

He was my Paw Nick, and I was his Peanut. I was his only granddaughter. And I have never in my life suffered loss like this before. Heartache, yes. Trials, yes. But deep loss? No one this close yet.

Unitl now I would deliberate for great lengths of time on how to say the right thing at the right time. I worried about sounding sincere and not being trite.  I wanted to do right by the words and the receiver the best I could.

But yesterday, I realized I had never truly been on the receiving end. And I was overwhelmed. Not only with the onslaught of emotions harassing me and the inability to grieve (because I have three VERY NEEDY LITTLE PEOPLE who are currently all under age three) but also with every tweet of a text and ping of a notification. I was overwhelmed that I would even be thought of.

Somewhere, at some point, God allowed someone to share a piece of the ache that I feel. And so much so that it motivated them to reach out to me. And it didn’t matter then the verbiage they used or how eloquent or moving their words were. I knew that their act of reaching was sincere. I was humbled to be thought of and cared for in that way. Their words put some sturdy legs back underneath me so that my faith didn’t give way.

They healed. They held. And they are STILL the vessels that are ushering grace in to hold me.

So I want to encourage you, whoever you are reading this, that when a time comes for you to give comfort and words are all that you have, give them. I promise you most people aren’t going to be picky about what you give. And I sat there yesterday thinking of all the sad hearts who have mulled over who didn’t say this or that or do this or that. I pray that grace comes in and softens that hardness to receive and be humbled by such sweet love. I pray that we can continue to be thankful and rejoice and graciously receive what gifts of healing are sent our way. Because they are all from a great and gracious Father and King who has given far more than we could ever deserve.

And there lies my Hope. There lies my Joy.

Thank you to those of you who have already been willing to keep pointing my eyes back to my Helper. He is the Lord, the Issuer of every breath I breathe, and I will rest in Him now and one day for eternity!