willing

Earlier this morning I ventured out of the house with the girls and into the blinding fog to join some women from Harvest for a new five week study called ‘Get Real’. Although the girls protested being there (even after we were leaving Eisley tried to wriggle her way out of the stroller in protest, and I almost ran her over…), I am beyond thankful for throwing us in the car to go, and I look forward with great expectancy to the weeks to come.

I was hesitant to sign up because I knew it would be hard work to get us out the door and back in time for lunch not to mention it meant the girls were now missing morning nap two days out of the week instead of just one. I was also a little concerned with how I was going to maneuver two toddlers with a baby boy belly that is getting bigger every day. However, I couldn’t get away from hearing about this study group, and I have been aching to dig in deeper with other women before I’m disconnected for a bit when little brother comes. So, we went.

Jonna, pastor Tim’s wife, taught the opening session today and posed the question, “are we willing?” She reminded us that we can learn and regurgitate Truth all day long, but unless we are actually willing to do something about it/live it out/let it change us, we will just be wasting our time. The study progressed and God very gently began pointing out the flaws in me that He is wanting to change into His image. However, it wasn’t until our breakout group time that my eyes were very clearly opened and my heart felt the weight of conviction as my own mouth spewed out ugly truths about my sin. Instead of running to God’s Word for truth and waiting in quiet strength, I confessed that I’ve been running to technology in my alone time to peruse the web, check (and subconsciously compare my life to) social media, and catch up on meaningless shows.

God had started chiseling away as I read the honest words of a friend from college and realized that I and so many others were blindly falling and sometimes even WILLINGLY walking into Satan’s traps and distractions instead of choosing to live in the truth of God’s Word. Without even realizing it, I had begun to choose to wait for my family to mess up and disappoint me in their disobedience instead of looking to my Father and following His example of waiting to be GRACIOUS and show MERCY in my disobedience! (Is 30.18) I pray that if you read this, you would allow God to reveal what He wants to change in you. And when the question is asked, ‘are you willing?’, you will have an unwavering trust in God to boldly answer with a resounding ‘Yes!'

This God—his way is perfect;
    the word of the Lord proves true;
    he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

Psalm 18.30