Me. Pregnant. For 34 solid weeks. With two little girls.
That still catches me off guard!
Over the past few weeks the discomfort of being largely pregnant has begun to settle its self into my sleeping patterns and joints and appetite. (Not to mention my need to go rest in the little ladies room if you catch my drift ...) I had a nice visit with my High-Risk Specialist on Tuesday which was also my last! He congratulated me on making it to 34 weeks and said the girls could come any time they want to now, Lord-willing it would be through natural delivery if my one little booger would just flip around! I wouldn't mind if it was tomorrow. I just need to get that bag for the hospital packed!!! But honestly,
I take delight in it all because I know the end is near.Maybe some of you who are reading this have already begun jumping to the eschatological conclusions that I would love to expound on, but I'm just going to keep it simple with these conclusions God has been working in my heart:
I desperately need my sights fixed on Eternity and the Priceless Jewel of Heaven who waits for me there. MY sin, not in part but the WHOLE, was nailed to the Cross!!! Christ's suffering was not in vain!!! My "suffering" and growing/labor pains here (which often involve other Christians even!) He wants desperately to use to draw me ever so closely to Him, and that is exactly where I want to be. My battle isn't against them, or any other flesh and blood. So, I need not be discouraged because I worship the God who makes a way when there seems to be no way. And that worship is not, has never been, or will ever be about me. It started and will end with Him! So, quickly I will leave you with this ...
My prayer lately via Psalm 51
Make me to hear joy and gladness. Let the bones (and most of my joints) which (really feel like) You have (just about) broken rejoice. (PLEASE!) Hide Your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast (and absolutely unshakable) spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me (because the thought of being without You absolutely terrifies me) ((I don't like to think about being on the wrong side of Your wrath)). Restore to me the joy of Your (not mine, cause I had nothing to do with it) salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit (cause if You don't I will give up and die)!